Why am I doing this?

I wrote this piece long time back.  It was in my draft.  Now publishing it in my blog.

 

Why am I not satisfied with the average life?
Why am I resisting to go the ordinary route?
Why am I trying to tell something to the world?
Why am I trying to change certain parts of the world?
Why am I having certain beliefs that despite being contrary to the majority still believe them to be true?
Why I should go through so much negatives just to go my path?
Why should I take the unusual path when the crowd is taking the usual path?
Why?
Why is that I don’t want to go with the crowd?
Why is that I am feeling bad about this sometimes? Continue reading

Snake in your bedroom!

“Enough of all this.  Shut up, this is not working out.” Rishi said.

“Yeah, I knew this would never work out.” said Naina.

Their marriage had become strained over the past few years.  They weren’t spending enough time with each other.  The sweet talks had vanished.  Their relationship had become more or less like a chore.  The passion was missing.

But they did fight with passion.  They loved themselves more than the other person. They didn’t care for each other’s opinion or point of view.

They finally felt that they were nearing their end.

“Oh God.  Why did I marry her?  Please relieve me of this pain.” he thought. Continue reading

A letter from the death bed…

Recently, I wrote this short story as part of TimesOfIndia WriteIndia contest.

 

“All of us live with our past. All of us allow it to shape our future. But some of us know how to shrug the past. I think that is who I am…..

This is who I want my daughter to be.  This is who I want my followers to be. Everyone thinks that I am very strong.

But No. That’s not the truth.  Deep inside, I am a scared child haunted by my dreaded past.  Sometimes I feel I have been haunted so much that even the thought of it bring chills down my spine.

When people are so haunted, even a little bit of distraction helps as an escape mechanism.  For me, the distractions were sex and abuse.  To put it more precisely it was sexual abuse.  Yes.  I got so used to it from my childhood that I started to enjoy it, I started to enjoy the pleasure in the pain.  There were moments that I willingly asked my partner to abuse me sexually.  You know why?  Because I started to enjoy it.  Enjoyment not as in for happiness.  Enjoyment as in like a stress buster.  Something that makes you escape from reality.  

That painful reality which reminds me of my horrible past, always.  That reality that isn’t worth living.  That reality that keeps you anxious, nervous and fearful all the time, as though something bad was going to happen. Continue reading